Mexico

All I can say is.....incredible.
Great trip. Horrible time getting back home, but I'm here - a day late - but here!
Mexico was an enigmatic mix of beauty and poverty. Lush greenery, breathtaking seas and beaches. Bright, bold color everywhere. Interesting people.....but the poverty....oh, it's just insane. More ruminations on this later - but for now, some photos!

T Minus 9 hours, 18 minutes

....and counting. Dana has called me a record NINE TIMES in the last three hours with questions about flying. It's been awhile - years, in fact - since she's flown. So many questions, it's hilarious. A week ago, she was trying to tell me that she was going to only have a carry-on because she knew she wouldn't need much for Mexico. Uh-huh. This is from the woman who packs three duffel bags, two pillows, five beach towels and a blanky when we go for one night to the cottage for the Hodag Country Music Festival every year. Skeptical? You bet. Was I right? Oh, yeah. Five minutes ago she called to ask what the weight limit was, and would she be better off checking two bags or three since we're flying first class? I'm dying laughing.
I must admit, however, my own bag is a lot heavier than intended - but of course one MUST have the proper shoes, yes? Can't wear flip flops with everything!

Production Sample

Audio sample of recent radio ad production:

Saturn Aurai

MEXICO

By this time tomorrow, I should have my toes in the sand at the Sandos Caracol in Mexico. It finally started to feel real when I began packing. It's been a long time since I've had a competely carefree vacation like this. I know I'm going to miss my children, but I am finally beyond feeling guilty about taking a vacation solo. If I have the capability while there, I'll post photos....otherwise photos will have to wait until I return late Wednesday night.
Hasta la vista!

Finished Deck

The pool is up and treated, and the deck is done! Unfortunately, it's about 55 degrees and raining. But I'm so pleased with how it all turned out. The wood is green treated so it will have to wait about 2 months before we stain it - but in the meantime I think it looks great. Devon's birthday party is tomorrow and I'm hoping the weather will cooperate so we can have everyone outside. I love it when things come together....
oh, and FOUR DAYS TO MEXICO!

Sleeping Beauty

The ballet was beautiful - better than ever. Devon did a great job - ALL the dancers were spectacular! Photos of Devon with Jack, and me with Rowan in the Great Hall after the performance.

Green is Beautiful

Every spring a morning would arrive after months of bleak, dreary weather when my father would come to my house in the morning and say - "everything's green today". It usually happens after a night of gentle rain - you go to bed one evening and wake up to a world of green grass, leaves on the trees and the scent of lilacs in the air. Today would have been the day that my father proclaimed the world outside green at last. It has been a beautiful day.
Devon is feverishly getting ready for his role as a Hessian prince in Wausau Dance Theatre's production of Sleeping Beauty this weekend. Rehearsals every day, two school performances on Friday, and the big shows at the grand for paying customers on Saturday. This is by far my favorite of the Storybook Productions series, with exquisite costuming - I can't wait to see the newly revamped scenery. I was able to snap a photo during last night's initial dress rehearsal of Devon (on the left) with his friend, Jack Karkar Collison, my dear friend Annaluna's son.
Ten days to Mexico!!!!!

Keyboard Waffle Iron

Because breakfast isn't nerdy enough, I present to you the Keyboard Waffle Iron. There's really nothing else to be said about this wonder of modern technology, but I invite you to make your best keyboard/waffle puns in comments. Come on, let's see what you've got.

Pool Progress

ALL RIGHT, ED, here are some photos of the pool and deck as it has progressed. Some are "before" and some are "after" photos. Right now it looks odd because it's missing the platform that will connect the deck with the pool itself. You will be able to step onto the platform and get into the pool. There will be railing on one side and down the steps when it's finished as well. It's not a huge deck - 10 by 12 - but if it was any bigger we wouldn't have much yard left. There is also terrace outside that you can see a bit of that is made of cobblestone that we have our chimnea and grill on along with some chaise lounges. The hot tub is not pictured, but is in what used to be a screen porch attached to the garage - you can see the roofline in the photos to get an idea where it is.
I can't wait until it's all done, and decorated properly - it's going to be great!

Pool and Deck

I have been waiting to post until I had a finished pool and deck in the backyard, but this project is taking F O R E V E R. So far the pool is up and filled, and the deck is partway finished. Today Jason built the steps that line two sides of the deck, and he just informed me that he won't be back until NEXT WEEK to put on the platform that goes up to the pool itself. I am dying to post photos but would rather have the finished product! I'll have to think about that. At any rate, though it's slow going (much to my frustration - I am so GOTTA DO IT NOW) it will be worth it, and my backyard is going to be great.
In the meantime, I'm loving my new convertible, and it's actually been warm enough to drive around with the top down. Fabulous! Should have bought one years ago. John broke the XM antenna while trying to install it, so I'm without it for now - finally going to have Sound World do a "real" install on Wednesday.....and when I can, I want to put in a better stereo and better speakers.
Mexico in 16 days - and counting!

RIP, Saturn SL-2

Well - it's official. Our 1996 Saturn SL-2 is finally kaput. We bought it new, and it was my car until we started in with the SUV's. Right now I drive a Honda Pilot, and the Saturn has been John's car. We've traded in the Saturn for a "new" used car - a 2002 VW Cabrio GLX convertible that will become my car now. Since I do most of the driving with the kids, I'll be happy to get 35 mpg or better zipping around in this little beauty. The Pilot seats 8, so when I have to go places with the kids AND their friends, I'll have to swap with John - but 75 percent of the time it's me and one or both kids and that's it. (Can you hear the rationalization in my head????) At any rate, it's in terrific shape - low miles - black with black leather interior and a power roof. And it'll be nice to go back to driving a 5 speed instead of an automatic!

LETTERMAN 'TOP TEN GEORGE W. BUSH MOMENTS' CORRESPONDENTS' D

The Flute Is Here

.....and it's FABULOUS. Boris Popovich at Professional Flute Repair in North Carolina did an incredible restoration of the vintage (1950) Armstrong flute I picked up. I used it for tonight's symphony concert - as you can see in the photos from warmup. It has an incredible sound - I'm so lucky to have found it.
Music continues to be an integral part of my life - and it seems, my children's lives as well. They attend every concert without complaint, and have practiced their own instruments daily. Rowan is loving the guitar, and Devon's violin sounds so sweet.....they both attend the Wausau Conservatory of Music for their lessons, where I myself spent years learning the flute. Devon has also decided to pick up the piano and loves to make up his own songs. I'm looking for a good computer program to transcribe as he plays. You never know, perhaps he'll be the next Beethoven - and Rowan the next Eddie Van Halen.....regardless of where it takes them, I'm pleased they have an interest, as music is such a huge force in my own life.

Home Depot

Haven't tried Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs yet? Would you give one a shot if it were free? You'll have your chance this Sunday. Home Depot has earmarked one million CFLs for giveaway in observance of Earth Day. (The offer is open to U.S. customers in the 48 contiguous states.) The company says its promotion will result in a $12 million saving in annual energy costs, reduce almost 200 pounds of carbon dioxide emissions, and offset the emissions equivalent of over 70,000 automobiles.

Recycling Unwanted Items

In last week's City Pages, I enjoyed an article about a worldwide organization dedicated to recycling products instead of adding to the landfill. Since one man's trash is another man's treasure, this is a great way to get rid of unwanted items, or pick up gently used items for you and your family. The only catch - it has to be free. You can't ask for anything in return. So this weekend, I posted my kids old Crabby Sandbox and my old washing machine, both in great shape, but just sitting unused in the garage. Within hours I had emails from folks who were thrilled to take them off my hands. The sandbox is now in the yard of a 5 year old boy, new to town - and the washing machine went to a young military couple getting married in June. I felt great about putting these items to use. The site is www.freecycle.org - you can sign up for your locality and browse postings for everything from comic books to ponies - and you can also post the things you want in hopes someone will supply you with it for free.

Arts Alive for Hospice

Tonight I emceed a hospice fundraiser at the Jefferson Street Inn. Arts Alive is in it's second year, and this year was especially important to me - a small way to give back to Hospice for the gifts and help they were able to give our family during my father's illness. I'll have an update on how much money was raised after the tally is in, but I do think it was significant. Good crowd, great artwork up for auction. I didn't have time to take many photos but I did get this photo taken of me with Dana and Julie at the event.

Best DUI Ever

Write A Letter!

Betty Eldridge, of New Port Richey, Florida, mailed her teeth first-class to Tallahassee. That was more than a year ago, and she's seen them only once since. But she doesn't miss them. Edlridge, who's 71, wrote to the dentist who made her teeth, "Without a doubt they are the worst set of dentures I have ever seen, and I've seen lots." After writing the dentist she sent her dentures and a complaint letter to the state Department of Health. That was a year ago. Now, as she waits for some sort of resolution, Eldridge is sticking to meals of mashed potatoes, rice and twice-cooked chicken nuggets.

Flute

At an estate sale recently, I found a vintage Armstrong 80 French style flute with a B foot - solid silver head, silver plated body - for an absolute song and picked it up. I'm excited to report that I've found someone both reasonably priced and well recommended to give it an overhaul. I'm currently playing on a Gemeinhardt that works just fine, but I miss the brilliant sound I have always found on an Armstrong. Many would argue that Kurt Gemeinhardt's flutes are superior - and at one time they were, but that was years ago. I don't think this flute will need too much - in fact, the pads look pretty good, (two keys are sticking) - cosmetically, this instrument is beautiful with no scratches or dings, and a gold mouthpiece (no more flute black on the lip!). I'm hopeful for a good result and expect it back in-house in two weeks tops. Would love to have it back in time for our next symphony concert but I don't think that's going to happen. You never know, though!

Ipod Body Armor

An iPod saved a soldier's life in Iraq. The MP3 player stopped a bullet from an insurgent's AK-47. Kevin Garrad (3rd Infantry Division) was on a street patrol in Iraq and as he rounded the corner of a building an armed insurgent came from the other side. The two of them were within just a few feet of each other when they opened fire. The insurgent was killed and Kevin was hit in the left chest where his iPod was in his jacket pocket. It slowed the bullet down enough that it did not completely penetrate his body armor. Fortunately, Kevin suffered no wound. (Here's a photo of the iPod.) An Apple engineer got wind of what the iPod did for the soldier and plans to help Garrad get a new one.

Lazy Dog Days

Novel

For the past three years, I have been working on a novel. Not just one novel, but I get halfway done, hate it, and start over. I have taken two novel writing classes, both of which have been extremely helpful in figuring out how to flesh out characters and plotlines, but haven't found exactly the right story to tell. When my father became ill, I started fresh and have been working on it ever since. Someone I work with who is a published author gave me advice a few weeks ago that I have adhered to since - write one page a day. Every day. No matter what, one page. Like it or hate it, it's the best way to get your creative juices flowing - and so far I think he's right! I have been writing a page a day, even on the busiest days - and so far the result has been some solid work toward my goal - and I really love the storyline.
Aspiring authors - take the advice of my friend and write a page a day. If you do, you'll have a novel in a year.....and that's a reachable goal.

The Smartest Dog in the World

I love this!

Swimsuit Season

Summer is creeping up and I can't wait. Hands down it's the best time of the year. For the past three years we have had a snapset pool from Intex in the backyard - the White Trash version of a luxury pool. We loved it and used it every day it was warm enough. The tough part is putting it up and taking it down every year - it wasn't one of those inflatable ring pools, it was a PVC frame pool that took hours to set up. So this year I've taken the plunge and have bought a "real" pool from the Pool People. It's all being delivered on Monday, and I've hired our friendly neighborhood handyman, Jason, to come install it for me, which should take him roughly a day or so. My backyard is too small for the 24 footer I wanted, so I bought the 21 foot round Doughboy - that way there'll still be plenty of room for the dogs and kids to play, and to fit the trampoline. After the pool's in, Jason is building me a deck, too - nothing fancy, just a rectangle off the house that I can put some furniture on for cookouts and parties. Right now, thanks to the dog, our backyard looks absolutely terrible, so I'm looking forward to the upgrade - and plenty of lunchtime breaks reading on my lounge chair in the pool!

Happy Easter!

In Vino Veritas

Got my wine from the Wine Club and have totally fallen in love with an Australian called Henry's Drive Pillar Box Red, vintage 2005. Here's what the writeup looks like:

Pillar Box red is an opaque red/black color with a scarlet rim. It displays aromas of sweet, ripe red berries underpinned cinnamon spice and dark chocolate. The palate is rich and fleshy with vibrant raspberry & blackcurrant fruit intertwined with a citrus like cedary oak complexity. The tannins are full yet soft and supple, combined with the gentle acidity to produce a lingering harmonious finish.
This wine scores a 91 and is one of the best values available from the Wine Club.

Buy it here:
http://www.thewineclub.com/187701?id=7cnmwytW

Elks Club Night

John joined the Elks club back in September and has gotten quite active with the organization. Last month he was elected as an officer and last night was installed as the organization's Lecturing Knight for the year. We all dressed up to celebrate and attend the installation and dinner. He's pretty excited about it. I have been all for this Elks thing but after last night it has become clear that they expect spouses to be just as active, attending national conventions and that kind of stuff with the officers. I won't go this year, but I might go next year to Anaheim and the year after to Portland. What the heck - a chance to see places I otherwise would not.

Sorry, President Kennedy

Sorry, President Kennedy. Tampa misspelled your name. The city put up a new street sign this week but spelled Kennedy "Kenndey." The city has put up a corrected sign.

Covering ALL the Bases

Wouldn't want to chance making a mistake on this one, eh?

Wine Time

At my sister's suggestion, I have ordered a case of wine from the Wine Club of California - what spectacular wines they have at terrific prices! Check them out at www.thewineclub.com and find deals like this - for only 10 bucks a bottle:
Crios de Susana Balbo: Malbec
The wine has a beautiful reddish/purple color as most good Malbecs do. The aromas are a mix of fresh crushed cherries and toasty/smoky oak—just enough to frame the exuberant fruit. On the palate, the flavors of cherries and spice are obvious, and the jammy fruit quality just keeps coming on strong, with hints of spice lurking in the background. This is a wine that you’ll want to buy by the case because it can be consumed at almost any occasion, whether at a fancy dinner party, or just curled up on the couch in front of a movie. Fun and delicious.

The Wine Enthusiast Subtle and smooth from start to finish. The aromas are sly but sturdy, with mocha and blackberry sticking out. The flavor profile is pure black fruit with underlayers of spice and chocolate. A ripe, really good example of approachable Malbec. Score: 90. —Michael Schachner, December 01, 2006.

The Wine Spectator Plump and juicy, with blackberry and black cherry fruit on a creamy texture. Toasty finish. Drink now through 2007. Score: 88. —James Molesworth, September 30, 2006.

Producer Crios de Susana Balbo
Varietal Malbec
Category Red
Region Argentina : Mendoza
Alcohol 13.5%

Musings from the Mall

After booking the trip to Mexico, I realized I have Nothing To Wear, so I set out to the mall to buy a few things that I'll need prior to departure. I'm a curvy girl, see, so I know I need to look in the Curvy Girl section of the stores. No problem, right? Um - right. That is, if I want my ass, which is already the size of Montana, to look even larger than it already is. Why any curvy girl would want to wear big flowers and horizontal stripes - well, the reasoning here escapes me. My search will continue for the perfect swimwear.
As the temperatures have risen, so has my mood. I'm feeling hopeful and looking forward to summer and the adventures ahead.
My good friend Duff Damos, who lost his own father a few years ago, told me that while I will always miss my father, the WAY I miss him will change. I find hope in that.

Local Idiot Story

I just love these....
Applebee's proposer arrested for probation violation

By Jeff Starck
Wausau Daily Herald
jstarck@wdhprint.com March 23, 2007

A Wausau man who proposed March 15 to his girlfriend while dining at Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar on Stewart Avenue was told "yes" by his new fiancee, but the authorities said "no" a day later.

Peter McGreck, 26, was arrested March 16 for violating the terms of his probation and spent three days in the Marathon County Jail. McGreck was on an electronic monitor at the time of his arrest.

McGreck might not have been arrested had he not contacted the Wausau Daily Herald before popping the question. A photo of the proposal was published on the newspaper's Web site.

McGreck, who served 4 1/2 years in prison for forgery, was supposed to be at work while he was proposing and was not allowed to be in a place that serves alcohol, said Mike Williams, the Department of Corrections' local field supervisor.

"When a person is on an electronic monitor and is supposed to be at work, it depreciates the value of the programs when he wasn't where he was supposed to be," Williams said.

A corrections agent was looking at local Web sites and saw the photo and notified McGreck's agent. They confirmed McGreck's whereabouts, issued a warrant and arrested him for the violation. Williams said agents often find people who violate their probation on the Internet, newspapers and other forms of media.

McGreck said he had verbal permission to be out that night from his probation agent, but it was not in writing. McGreck had the evening off from his job at Emma Krumbee's in Rib Mountain, a job he has since lost.

Good Advice......Good Advice

Parasailing Gone Wrong

Incredibly wrong.....

Happy Birthday Rowan!

March is a month of birthdays for us, and Rowan turned 11 today at 3:09PM. Since everyone had to work tonight, we won't have his family party until tomorrow, so I told him I could take him anyplace he wanted to go for dinner. Anywhere! So, where does he pick? TACO JOHN'S. Uncle David and Grandma rode along and his best friend Wyatt joined us as well. It's hard to believe he is 11 - before you know it he'll be 22!

March 16th

Today would have been my father's 78th birthday.
I can't stop thinking about him. I think it's harder now than it was when he first passed away.....now that everything is "done". The funeral is over, the thank-you cards have been written. Now it's just supposed to be life as normal, but nothing seems normal anymore.
In an effort to combat my increasing depression, I have booked a trip to Mexico for May. My best friend Dana and I have talked about going for 10 years - and we're finally doing it. It sounds like heaven - four nights on the beach in the Riviera Maya. I plan to do nothing but plunk my butt in the sand and read....maybe do some kayaking and wind surfing. I think that it can only help, right? I'm attaching some photos from the website of the resort we have booked.

Peace Day

This week marked Peace Day, and my boys' school celebrated by performing some special songs in the middle of the Wausau Center Mall. They rode the city bus and had lunch at a downtown restaurant afterward - a very fun field trip. I had a hard time attending, because it's exactly the thing my father would not have missed.
I think this first year will be the hardest - filled with firsts of loneliness. Since my dad and I were practically joined at the hip, everything we normally did together - the downtown concerts, the festivals, the fair, the field trips....all feels so different now. My friend Duff Damos, who lost his own father a few years ago, told me this - "you'll always miss him.....but the WAY you miss him changes after awhile". I'm holding onto that.
Meanwhile, after about 2 feet of snow in the past two weeks, it appears spring may indeed be on the horizon with 50 degree temps and major snow melt today. I opened windows and drank in the fresh air. It was fantastic - the best I've felt in months.

Wanna go Kayaking?

Great Policy

It's Not Easy Being Green

Al Gore may have been all about saving energy and saving the planet at Sunday night's Oscars, but it appears he's not walking the walk. Gore’s mansion, located in the posh Belle Meade area of Nashville, consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year, according to the Nashville Electric Service. Gore’s extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore’s mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year. In total, Gore paid nearly $30,000 in combined electricity and natural gas bills for his Nashville estate in 2006.

Monday Notes

The snow continues today in one of the worst snowstorms in a long time. The kids are loving it, though, spending hours sledding down hills created by snowplows at our neighborhood school. It's the only thing so far that's gotten them off the new Nintendo Wii.
Speaking of which, the Wii is amazing. Very family friendly. The basic package comes with Wii Sports, a game with family style sports games such as bowling that all families can play. The Wii-mote is a new take on gaming, more of a virtual game experience than before - instead of just clicking buttons, you actually move the wii-mote as if you're really bowling or playing tennis.
Gets the kids off their butts, which can only be a good thing.
The cello maker sent me an email - my cello is nearly finished and will be shipped to me by week's end. I can't wait!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

Winter has returned in full force, dumping well over a foot of snow on us in the last 16 hours, with up to another 8 inches expected this evening. Last night the driving conditions were almost impossible, even in my SUV. The snow stopped this morning for a few hours - long enough for us to blow out the nearly 3 foot snowdrifts that had piled up, but the snow has again begun to fall. After driving my brother to the ER last night to take care of a severe nosebleed at 3AM, I am even more thankful than ever to have a job that allows me to stay in my office and enjoy the beauty of the snow without the hassle!
Kind of makes the swimming pool I'm putting in the backyard seem like just a pipedream.

Numb3rs Fan?

Love the show Numb3rs, but you have no idea what the heck Charlie is talking about? This Friday night show is always fun to watch, and the math is fascinating - a partnership between CBS and MIT. One professor has a weekly blog to explain the math in the show. Check it out here: http://www.atsweb.neu.edu/math/cp/blog/

Cello

Getting back into the swing of posting (really, I promise) and to start things off I have to say how much I am enjoying learning to play the cello. I love how it sounds. So far I have gotten nearly through book one with the help of my teacher, Ally, but have realized that the student cello I've been playing on is not going to be a keeper. The neck is too thick and it's just not the quality I'm going to want if I will ever be good enough to play in the WSB's orchestra.
After much research, I stumbled upon Andy Fein's handmade instruments available through his store in Minneapolis, created in the Stradivarius style. After reading about his instruments, I was intrigued enough to look further, and I was able to email back and forth with Mr. Fein himself to come up with what we believe will be the perfect instrument for me.
An excerpt from the website:
"Stradivarius structured his cello making workshop so that six to ten of his apprentices and master artisans worked precisely to his cello forms. Stradivarius then did all the final work and ensured the highest quality in every cello. We use the same system today in all our hand crafted cellos from the cello making workshops of Rigidio Riva in Sardinia, Italy, D. Albert in Markneukirchen, Germany, and Francois Costa in Corsica, France.
Every hand made cello that we offer has been meticulously cut from aged high altitude Spruce for the cello’s top and rare, high altitude Maple for the cello’s back, sides, and neck. The cello’s fingerboard is cut from premium quality black ebony. We make sure the cello’s pegs, end pin, and tailpiece match the beauty of the cello with fine quality fittings."
I have ordered a 7/8 size cello, and it should arrive next week. According to the site.....
Wonderful Artisan Made French Cello. Handmade in the F. Costa workshop in Corsica, France. Hand finished by Andy Fein. Air dried, select quality tone wood. Nicely flamed Maple on the back, sides and neck. Deep, rich tone with good timbre and dynamic range.
Mr. Fein is so confident in his instruments that he is giving a 10 day approval period, and if I'm not satisfied I can return it for a full refund. Check out the photos - it's a gorgeous instrument and I can't wait to play it!

Devon's Violin

Devon has been having a great time learning the violin at the Wausau Conservatory of Music. Here's a photo of him with Michael Keelan, his instructor - and one of the cats, who love to hear him play.

OK Go - Here It Goes Again Granbury High School

Truth in Advertising

Well, you've gotta give him points for honesty.

STATE OF THE UNION - WANNA PLAY?

In case you didn't know it, the President speaks to the nation tonight in his State of the Union Address. There's a new drinking game that goes along with it, which you can find on the net at http://www.drinkinggame.us/
Basically, it goes like this.
The general rules of this game are no different from any other drinking game. A drink is either a shot or a good gulp from a beer (or other beverage). Different events call for different numbers of drinks and all you do is watch the speech and play along.

* If W. says "the American people" - 1 drink or gulp
* If W. uses the word "troops" - 1 small drink
* If W. says "freedom" - 1 drink
* If W. says "nukular" - 1 drink
* If W. says "addicted to oil" - drink one shot of extra-virgin olive oil
* If W. says "education" - 1 drink
* If W. says "education" and mispronounces it - 1 drink + 1 more
* If W. says "the First Lady" - 1 drink
You get the picture. Pass the Vodka.

Attention Mr. Fartypants

An underwear manufacturer (in the U.S.) has invented pants designed to hide the smell of farts. Under-Tec's anti-flatulence UnderEase underpants have an in-built multi-layered, replaceable filter, made of felt, charcoal and fiberglass wool. To prevent gases escaping without passing through it, the underpants are made from air-tight fabric and completely sealed with elastic around the waistband and legs. Under-Tec's president and inventor, Buck Weimer, says, "We get a lot of jokes -- but we don't doubt that this is a serious product that serves a purpose.

Daddy

My father passed away in the early morning hours of January 14, just hours after my last post. He died in his sleep, completely at peace.
The last week has been a whirlwind of activity. The funeral, however, was beautiful, and exactly what he would have wanted. Traditional Catholic with all the trimmings. The response has been overwhelming.
My cousins came up from Milwaukee, and the night of the wake we gathered afterward at my house to reminisce. My stomach hurt the next day from laughing so hard. It was an appropriate way to honor my father.
The grief is overwhelming, but it comes in waves. I feel as though he is still here with me somehow, watching over me, still guiding me. He was such a wonderful man......if I am half the father he was to me, I'll still be better than most.
Rest in peace, Daddy.

Grim New Year

It's been weeks since I've posted, but things have been crazy. After three weeks in the hospital, my father has deteriorated rapidly and two days ago was admitted into the hospice program for end of life care. His wish was to come home, so we arranged to have him brought home where we are caring for him as best we can. He is on morphine and is sleeping all the time. He seems relieved to be home, and I am thankful to my sister Wendy for staying and helping with his care.
It has been a difficult thing to accept. My brother still thinks he's going to walk out of here in a few weeks. The reality, of course, is much different. We think we will have days, perhaps weeks, and we're unsure whether he will be any more alert once his pain is managed. Taking it day by day. The kids are doing their best to accept it as well, and are very helpful with his care. Devon has slept at his house the last two nights, too.
With it all, we're trying to keep some normalcy of life. Symphony rehearsal resumes for me on Monday, and I've officially had two cello lessons, which I'm enjoying immensely. Small breaks from the grim reality at home.
You never really know what you're made of until you face these types of challenges and find whether you're able to rise to them.....or not.