Dealing with greif is a difficult thing, and for a child it's even harder. Add Asperger's Syndrome and the challenges are immense. This week I began taking Rowan to see a child and adolescent psychologist at North Central Health Care - one recommended by the Hospice Bereavement Coordinator. I have been increasingly concerned about Rowan's anxiety and depression and am convinced it's getting worse rather than better as the months pass. It is clear that Rowan's Asperger's is becoming more of an issue as he gets older, and we're hoping to get a handle on it.
Asperger's is in the Autism spectrum, but a child with it is not mentally retarded - in fact, most children test in the high to genius IQ range (Rowan's is quite high). They are clumsy, socially awkward, prone to obsession and depression, and often have difficulty with speech and communication. Someone meeting Rowan for the first time might mistakenly think he is mentally retarded because he is so different and has speech issues. He doesn't act like other children. At all. Everything to Rowan is black and white, right or wrong. He doesn't break the rules. He is a parent's dream. Never gets in trouble. But because of that logical thinking, he seeks solid answers to questions that there are no definitive answers for. Where did Grandpa go? What is death? Why do near death experiences differ from person to person? Do ghosts exist, and if so, what exactly are they? He is obsessed with these things right now - and I'm hoping with the help of this psychologist we can guide him through the grieving process and better understand his condition, as well. Only one thing is for sure - it's going to take time - and plenty of it.
1 comment:
I have aspergers. I'm also a psychologist. It gets easier for most of us as we get older, we learn how to talk to people, how to deal with all the internal musings, a lot of it we just learn to fake. We do great things, our obsessions can be very productive. The tantrums/sulking never goes away but we do find ways to deal with it - grief is helped by highly stimulating activities and/or mental challenges. Sometimes a distraction helps us get to the point where we can deal with things.
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